RT: Profound Fear by Sweetnida

...Profound Fear...

It's been A while,

I had no Idea' Contumacy or Bruteness, 

I wanted to Know The Mystery behind It,

That why My Eyes are Tearful.

Decided to Extricate and Got Sacred,

Like just now strange part would Show Up

Through out My Life' I have Been Unfrightened 

Now It Feels Like'

That Some Part of My Soul is Going to get Caught.

I'm unable to See and Hear Anyone' 

Then to whom I may Engage This Fear.

within It Bullies Me' If you ever Expose Me'

You will Remorse for It a lot.

Be Thankful to Breath in Gaol,

Or You will Condemn the Distinction.

I Accede In front of You'

Leave Me' Forgive Me' Let Me Breathe Freely 

My Beats get Sacred by My Screaming

Please Show Some Mercy On Me.

Don't let My Hope Extinguish'

That I wanna Live and Smile Through.

After Every Day You Came and Imitate With the Night'

As all You Acquire to Revenge On Me,

Your Only Goal with High Precedence 

My Curiosity is to Recognised 

To Leave you Far Behind 

Like The Shadows Behind Miles. 

RT: Sight with Eagle by Sweetnida

It's all Get Set'

Sun' Clouds' Breeze and Birds

I wonder all I have been doing, since I lost connection'

but no matter how long, the moment you find yourself back

It's like a new life without any going back!

I held the Pen after ages and Sprinkling words

A fresh start to Eternity'

yeah you can always meet Distractions 

but that does not mean stop being yourself'

What makes you more Desired and Happy amongst all'

So let's figure out,

First obstacle A responsibility got it done.

And then I ran out of Ink

but Thanks to My collection got another one in short Time

In fact It's colorful and with glitters in It. 

That's how I have always got ways in My Life

 Sadness and Tragedies

 have always been there and at those Times'

 I have putted myself first with some Intuitive  Impossibly Helpful Ideas So yes' 

Flying always have been Fascinating to Me 

maybe that's why I fond myself as A Eagle lover.

The reason is' It's connected with almost everything

Heights' Grounds and Meanwhile

Not entirely Dangerous to Humanity.

It can still at be heights among breeze

 But the focus is always on the ground

 Sometimes for the Food' yeah maybe All the Time

but I think they send me message also 

by just simply giving me A Hope'

That no matter how Far I have gone with the wrong 

I can always hold onto The Right and stick to It.

And Be awfully Happy...

RT: Sound of Evil, by Sweetnida

Was sitting Quietly I heard the Sound of Fear.

Opened up My Hands' 

Asked out loud and the Air Answered.

I' was never Aware of such Circumstances 

will grab you and will make you Afraid

I asked if you can help me'

The Air said NO.

I Stood up and walked,

Again I heard the same Sound 

I got Scared' water came by I dove In 

Deeply was rolling inside the Sound was still On

I asked water if you can help me out water said I'm not allowed

I uplift myself came out of the ocean tired and hurt

but the Sound was still on tears filled in eyes

Heartache' Scrambling and fighting

Urge to stop the sound but nothing and No One was being Helpful

And in that matter of Time I Realised

I've never been A Priority for Others to be Council

Because I never allowed Anyone to Enter in my Fantasy World

because once My Fantasy world been Burned to End 

When I just thought to let others enter.

Even I got scared by that Idea of any other Soul would come and make changes in my world.

Because been Alone there has never been My Fear

But this sound is Scaring Me this Time.

Scratching My Heart like the Hands of Evil

Something is been around I need to figure out

won't let It Ruin Me and I will Fight back.

I cannot let anyone or anything End Me until 

It's My Lord's will..

I Stopped Loving, I Stopped Penning, I Stopped Imagining

Intuition Trapped my Soul' I Stopped Travelling

Heart stopped flying words got Hanged

I became un able to Arrange.

Dear Life in somewhere I had always Found me Smiling

But I lost my love for it... 

My heart don't wanna Go there and else I don't know where to Go

I won't say help me out because I got stuck in with My Choices.

I couldn't bear the Pain of Separation

 In anger I had cut off My Wings with My Own Hands.

I have No complains but the Inside is Crashing

And when I'm disturbed even in my real

My Electrical Appliances started to trouble me 

Which brought Out the Evil in Me 

And make me more Stubborn and thankless.

I stopped smiling and this putted Me 

In condition to get Disappear and End up all my Desires

The sound is Horrifying and I don't from where it's coming.

I will find out because I have too

And I will remember this Selfishness for the rest of My Life

I stopped loving only one thing from this world 

And whole Universe stood-up against Me

But As you all Ganged up and Playing with 

My Intuition I won't scream.

I will make Myself Stronger on My Own.

I will get Myself and find out the sound 

Where it's Coming from and Harassing me.

It's time to wait and observe 

I will hold on until the Time Comes to Unleash

till then take care Sweetnida.

I Lost My Demon, by Sweetnida

Life is Weird' the matters I Think heavier to Pass

 They Just Go away in A Blink'

 Moments I Feel Would Make me Weak Instead of It'

They Strengthens Me' Relations 

I Thought My World Turns out To Be Nothing.

Is it All Of It Because of Over Thinking

No I guess It's nature I have Developed.

In 2019 Life Taught Me well 

No Matter what You are doing Do it For Yourself.

People's Opinions' Choices that's a Bluff

Through your Each breathe 

Make Sure your Doings and Undoings shouldn't be concerned to Others except It' 

Makes you A better Person.

But I don't think That's Even Worth it.

Every Good Lesson Hides the Worst Part in it.

What You Need to do is Never Go after Anyone.

 No need to ask for 

Love Care because they Come Unconditionally 

and If You don't Get You are Waiting on The wrong Door.

 If It Shuts don't Knock. 

Let it Be Hard but Pass by Surely. 

Nothing Remains Forever. 

Just Like I Lost My Demon.

 Even While I'm Alright maybe 

Because I'm at some Medicine but More then 

The actual Disease It helped me Out in Other Manner. 

That's much Unpredictable Life Is.

You Smile on the Moment'

You Thought Gonna Break You.

You can Cry Self it's so Natural but

Don't let It Mourn You.

I Hope I Met My Demon and tell Him how Happy I'm without Him....

Great Part I don't even Know Who He Is.

Let's Just Fly Over The Mountains

My Only Unreal Desire Makes me Feel So Real and Keeping Me Alive....

Surrender To Cherish by Sweetnida'author

Back again at the Backyard of My Thoughts'

from where I've learned to walk'

But couldn't walk away.

I tried everything made plans, Demanded certain way outs,

Wished a lot, Thoughts about Endless Desires,

Did Reincarnation on daily basis in My Heart,

I tried to make come True' but failed at Everything'

and then I Tried to Cut them out from My Heart,

I Possibly did that but that Effort 

some where took My Inner Self

Which Ultimately made me Terrible'

I utmost killed Myself.

I Forgot the Difference between Wishes and I

So then all happened which was Suppose to be,

I broke My Heart I Died in It.

Just because I can't be with the one I loved the Most

I can not Deny Myself.

I'm A Soul' A Body with Organs 

working in Proper Functional Orders'

Sickness attacked Me It became Worse'

I gave Myself Time to get Cured but somehow

 My Mental Health Got Effected.

I have always thought about alternates to keep on Going

If plan “A” did not worked' then plan “B” and “C” and So on'

But in order to be Accepted by Others

 I somehow Ended My Plans.

Which wasn't A big deal for others 

but for me It was Everything

I could Rely on to be Happy' actually Awfully Happy.

But I turned out to be 

Sad, Anxious and Worse version of Myself

Which I saw in My Mind and Denied hundreds of times.

And we can not be like others as for me I'm so different

My Perceptions are totally based on my Intuitions

Which cause Me Trouble but somehow They workout for me in a Right Manner.

Thinking over and over on same matter

Positive, Negative, Hell Pathetic'

And Everything Stayed in My Mind nothing Ended'

couldn't spell It the way It should be to be at Ease

Then I realised Finally'

Let's Surrender' not Ending but Leaving the Concern and

moving On with few Pen able words and A Cup of Tea'

I May Feel Good at Some Time

 but for now It's Ok to Feel Fine.

I'm not being Active in Writing Lately'

I might have lost My Passion or maybe Myself '

I hope it won't Lasts for Long.

If I'm living through A Certain way It could be Right or Wrong'

But No One is Allowed to Pass on Statements

They don't Owe Me.

Sometimes Pouring your Positivity to People

close to your heart with Empathy' could Drain your self

and then Negativity could Attack You'

You might gonna regret It later '

like wise Myself.

I'm Done at Creative Ideas

I don't know where I'm stuck

 or had Moved on But where exactly'

Guilt of Doings and Happening of Life

Again It's A sign of Complain' which leads to more Negativity

And with A Negative Mind 

You could never have A Positive Life.

Stop just' Stop right there.

Stand up, Walk against no matter about the Odds'

They are not gonna Lasts Forever'

Neither this world You are Surrounded by'

My thoughts are somehow 

Respected and Acceptable for Myself'

And I guess this is more then Enough.

Tomorrow will come with other Ideas 

And I'll be A different version of Myself.

Life have A Long way to Go It doesn't Ends here.

Carry Yourself Elegantly and Beautifully because

The day you won't Love Yourself you will realise'

You have never been Loved unconditionally.

Am I Done or yet all to come and Go'

We all belong to A Certain End

Everyone is Performing their part and Going away with It.

To where have You been Stuck Nida

Let's Just slightly take A Step Forward'

(Soul talks) It might be hard But Trust Me'

I have Got this only way for You.

"Surrender And Cherish"

Your Life could be More Fascinating

Then You could ever have Imagined.

RT: Sparrow was Never Alone by Sweetnida

  

I was Quiet but Stubborn Inside'

Many days passed

My Condition was Same

I was Living on the Edge

Which was Unseen for others.

While being mature enough to face the realities of Life'

I felt like A Toddler

Who just learned to walk and not stopping.

Standing up' falling down just to reach to same the Desire of Heart

One day I was tired that I sat on the chair and looked up to the sky

It was clear likewise I wanted My Mind to be

Then I saw A tree in front of Me

There was A Sparrow

I guessed it was a female I guessed through it's stubbornness

It was very restless I kept on seeing it.

Made my mind clear from passing thoughts

And gave My self A challenge to count about One to Hundred

If it stay still' that would be My Life

If it flew away that would be my Life' 

 I might not stay still any longer

The sparrow on the same branch of tree was Irritated

It was showing the aggression while kept on opening it's wings

but it was not moving any where forward like Me

It was summer and still but then suddenly it changed

From sunny to windy

My flick flew with the wind and 

the Sparrow Jumped to another Branch

My counting was on fifty it gave me a little hope and I smiled.

Kept on counting' winds became the rhythm

The sparrow grabbed all my Focus

No one came when I was challenging myself '

Good timing I must say/

Then while counting it was eighty number

 My hope started to fade away

My smile ended my eyes Teared up,

But I kept on counting because it has to reach an End

No matter what would be the challenge results 'up to my expectations or the opposite.

Finally ninety the sparrow opened it's wings took  deep breath 

and flew' and at once

Another sparrow flew with it which I did not see from the start

They both flew into the wind at once and left me speechless .

The results of the challenge were extremely

 different from my perception.

The sparrow showed me that it was never Alone!

The whole time it was having it's soul-mate alongside

It was getting upset because I couldn't see them together 

I only saw it alone just like I have been seeing myself all alone 

And being extremely Sad about it.

Like them He was always with Me He had not left yet!

He was only disappeared because it has to be that way'

I had to go through such uncomfortable phase of Life

where I'm seeking for Him and the thought of not having him' 

Along Me" killing Me all the Time.

I wish He never Leave Me,

I still completed My counting to Hundred with A Believe that'

One Day I will see Him next to Me

Just Like The Two Love Birds...

RT: I'm My Partner In Crime' by Sweetnida

Out of Sight, Out of Mind not Feeling Exactly about it.

What is Promising is Intuition how it decides to enter in My Moments

While being so away of such Heights

I feel like owning them.

Some where I'm outrageous but alone

No one is My Partner in Crime

Where I wanna roll madly and Spreading Pearls of Happiness

And reducing the weight of Pain been Inside Me

From years which actually feels like Decades

Lets lift up with long Hairs where I'm being a sign of Fear

Because I wanna be UN affordable

Mo money' No luxury can buy Me

And in return A Promise will not be giving Tears in Eyes

Life is more likely Indescribable

I've been thankful BUT

I'm feeling like I'm gonna lost'

Will lost In My Own Thoughts all black In front of Me

Words are Landing on My Lashes

They want them to be A Part of the World of My Words

Where My written each single Word is Alive

And standing in A Row to pick it up and give it A Life

I know the fear of own self where I laughingly cry' flying high

I met this condition of mine often

I know why I feel so because I'm created by ONE

And this fact I can never deny because

Denying this will burst Me and It's not by getting Scared

I'm bowing in Respcect no matter how wishful

I have to make such Compromises and Sacrifices

Because A thin crust Leaf and I has the same value

I can end it by my hands and So do My Creator can do with Me

So here I have to decide how I want my Karma to Go

Being A Warrior I'm making Rules and Laws

Implementing only on Myself then being Brutal and Ending them

Because I wanna deny Me' I'm Deny able.

My words can never be last they can get Murdered easily

And I will not Cry at their Funeral.

I'm standing on A peak where I have to be strong and powerful

Because one day I have to see my Transformation into the other World

The Conspiracy of my do's and don't's is making Me Wild

And Broughting up so many expectations

Where I have to Figure out how to End them

To stay calm I have to stay away from such Souls

Who believes in Give and Take because

My Priority is to feel the Blankness

And that is so Interesting and Rude

But It's the Mood and Accepting the Conditions is My new Tide

Away from the Concepts of getting Ruined

I will stay strong on My own Wings of Hope and Peace

Hope of no being used and peace is that I'm not Pretending

It's dark but It's not desire less

Its' gonna be last but not the least

The wait I gonna get is Equal to Infinity

Promises I make but making them Real is not My Act

It Happens because it is Written So

I never have been A Proud Person

Because I wanna Smile and having it Constantly is Prestigious

And so Amazing Gesture to have along in Lonesome Nights

It's Dark I still can't see but with Imaginary Eyes

I can see and tell the Sun

Life gets A little hard when you are Strict

But we only get to Live the Light

Because You are Created o Brighten up the Darkest phases of our Lives

I don’t know how to say the dark Goodbye

But that's what life is all about doing all that we don't wanna do

There was A time I was A Paramour

Expressively I have been in hills and madly waited to go over there

What I loved there is I witnessed the Life and Death by Light and Dark

And I always thought of I can't Imagine this in any other Place

But when it came to not going there for such period I just got stuck

The light turned off and the only condition was to turn it On

That to let go the wish of going there' Heartily

We can distract our Mind with Logic but Dealing with Heart is A Tough Task

When in sadness the idea of going there always brought Me back My Smile

But now not going there is been the Same

I'm smiling which I never have thought of'

That's how we Compromise with Terms Presented to Us

We somehow choose our Smile to Maintain

In this world full of Negativity and Criticism

I guess everyone is putting You down

Try' Try and Try over again Forever,

Respect Yourself so does others will Respect your Existence

In Mountains I witnessed the Nature Rolling Extravagantly'

The Acceptance of Going and Coming Back

Gave Me Hope of Ending Bad Chapters and to Start New Glorious Ones

by not Falling IN LOVE but with INTEGRITY live in the world

You are BLESSED with....

RT: Be A Happiness to Be Happy

Heights of Hopes' Roads to Happiness

No House for Stay being A Tourist

Fonder of Cold, No Fears to get Cold

Insanely getting into make The Moments Millenniums

To recall the same is Addiction 

Which sometimes is a Gesture and Meantime’s Punishment

To break the Sleep' woke up Turned Music On 

Speedily Grabbing the Pen and in Search to find A Neat Paper To make It Worth Getting Penned 

Then waiting for Intuition to get Connected

Finally Pen is Smooth' Breathing getting Relax 

And Smilingly Discovering The Fantasy 

Where now it's Time to make A new World 

Where One Happy Moment will be Repeating

No shuffle the One Pure Moment 

To find and Paste in that World

Enjoying on My Rope Swing Chair

 Tearing Breeze Apart' Hugging the Snowflakes

Seeing into there Corners talking to Me'

 They wanna tell how they Got so much Love from the World

They wanna share but for the Assurance 

They wanted to know if I have any Crystal Inside

 So Their Secret won't Leak.

 I Allowed them to Enter in My Heart

Where one Core was Deeply in Love with Cold and Froze'

Which start Melting if I don't get the Cold for over Months.

They trusted Me

We Sat on Clouds

Snowflakes & Sweetnida

Snowflakes: White is A color of Purity.

Sweetnida: It's A Color Of Fear too'

When all Other Colors left Us we get Stuck to White.

Snowflakes:But The Grace you get in White 

No other color can give You

I said You Got the Point

Snowflakes: Now talk about the other thing “Softness”

when the Human catches Us'

 They found Us Soft and Enjoy to Play with Us.

Sweetnida: So does happens with Me!

Snowflakes: But You know Nida

 Their Playing actions needs Us to be Fresh all the Time' 

If we get Untidy they throw Us away 

And wait for new Ones to Come.

I said you must have felt so Bad

Snowflakes: Said yes we do'

That Situation made Us Cry and We start getting Melt 

And reach our Final Destination' Right into the Ocean 

But what we still Care is to get Used for Humanly Purposes

I felt so bad for Snowflakes 

Meanwhile I took A Note on Myself and Realised 

 That it is The Mistake I do' I allowed others to took control Over My Heart and Play with My Feelings 

And when they get Bore' They went away to find New Ones  And I left behind Sad and Broken 

Our chat Ended.

Snowflakes and I'

 We were Sitting Silently in that Passage of Time

Sun came to visit Us

He saw Us being Sad then He said you are getting worried While You both know One day You will Sort out

 Your hurdles but think for Me

Everyone enjoyed Me then get Tired of My Hourly Duration

 I Die everyday to let them have Rest' 

And get Birth again to give them Light' 

That's all my Life is about.

Snowflakes and I saw each other and realised 

Even we need the Rays but with some Counted Amount 

Or else we will Melt down So We have to Decide'

Be As Pure As You get Loved by 

And be As Soft As Least

No one can bend You for their Filthy Desires

Give Yourself to those who are Ready to Merge with You

 In the Uncertainties of Life 

So then Your Final Moments won't be Complaining

For Your Oneself

Just be A Happiness to be Happy  

RT: A New You

https://soundcloud.com/sweetnida-author/rt-a-new-you-by-sweetnida

The life I'm living is Secondary

The desires I'm having are Secondary

My Wishes' My Demands' My Expectations are so Secondary

The world is Secondary Sometimes

 I feel I will make one day that day

Which will be satisfied but My that Feel is Secondary

Because firstly I'm a Soul who never faces Death

It's a body who dies because it is Secondary.Lives and deaths are planned but what is our Plan that is Thinkable

Because suffering through Pain is our Choice

 we can make it Anger

We can let it make us Weaker or We can move on while Believing of dying one Day

And start living Normally 

Dying for own self is never been A Fear

But when it comes to nearby it Scares the hell out of Us

This is how we go we take our self Firstly As Spiritually

And when it comes to others

 we choose second thing as the Body

Pain gives the Power to An Artist

 to show off his best at his Skills

Pain is a Necessity to convert A Stone into Diamond

From times I wanted to start an Endless walk where no one comes in my way,Sometimes it's terrific to be Alone but When You met Reality It's better to get use to of It

I wanna make My own Paths, Some Cheerful, Some Silent Ones, And Some Saddened

Because the Price I Paid to Reach on my Destiny

Is so much a lot then Suffering the Pain of Separation

Likely I'm not searching for Peace or Smile

I just wanna Go' and let go through Procedure

The world might never know who I'm

But I know what the world Is

It's a community where you Entered and Gathered

Then no matter how much Loyal, Honest, You have to End Up

They never said to give up, 

Rather they know the fact of Ending up

Every writer Smiles,

 Cries, Laughs No one will ever say End Up

But I wanna say End up on Fears of Losing

Because we never get Everything

No matter how hard you going through' the end is STOP

I don't know who will Criticize me on this But what I'm afraid of the Inner world of MineI skipped some words I Penned before because that's the Curiosity I wanna Create

By telling The Complete Story 

You might end Up the Charm for the Rest

So be A Liar and the One with Mysteries

You might not have someone, Your walk might go silent but kept on Walking

A Glorious chapter of my Life Ended

But its like Upgraded

Now it's like Meet, Greet, and let Go

No one is Responsible for the Sacrifices 

I made for My Desires

Walking through strange Paths taking along My Positivity

 I have been Attacked by Negativity

But taking this Trauma Along I Prolonged It

Maybe it's time to End up on some wishes

Empowering own self where 

Everyone is Standing Against You

While Holding Swords of their Words

Be your own Army and Fight till

You made them Realize that

Every Creature has the Rights

 to walk by Their Time and Tide

Guard Yourself and Stay Strong

End up which Needed to' And Made up “A New You”