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Unaware.


I'm so on the other side'
I never knew what Love was.
I Craved for Honesty' 
Which Hardly Lasts for Long...


Surrender To Cherish by Sweetnida'author


Back again at the Backyard of My Thoughts'
from where I've learned to walk'
But couldn't walked away.
I tried everything made plans, Demanded certain way outs,
Wished a lot, Thoughts about Endless Desires,
Did Reincarnation on daily basis in My Heart,
I tried to make come True' but failed at Everything'
and then I Tried to Cut them out from My Heart,
I Possibly did that but that Effort 
some where took My Inner Self
Which Ultimately made me Terrible'
I utmost killed Myself.
I Forgot the Difference between Wishes and I
So then all happened which was Suppose to be,
I broke My Heart I Died in It.
Just because I can't be with the one I loved the Most
I can not Deny Myself.
I'm A Soul' A Body with Organs 
working in Proper Functional Orders'
Sickness attacked Me It became Worse'
I gave Myself Time to get Cured but somehow
 My Mental Health Got Effected.
I have always thought about alternates to keep on Going
If plan “A” did not worked' then plan “B” and “C” and So on'
But in order to be Accepted by Others
 I somehow Ended My Plans.
Which wasn't A big deal for others 
but for me It was Everything
I could Rely on to be Happy' actually Awfully Happy.
But I turned out to be 
Sad, Anxious and Worse version of Myself
Which I saw in My Mind and Denied hundreds of times.
And we can not be like others as for me I'm so different
My Perceptions are totally based on my Intuitions
Which cause Me Trouble but somehow They workout for me in a Right Manner.
Thinking over and over on same matter
Positive, Negative, Hell Pathetic'
And Everything Stayed in My Mind nothing Ended'
couldn't spell It the way It should be to be at Ease
Then I realised Finally'
Let's Surrender' not Ending but Leaving the Concern and
moving On with few Pen able words and A Cup of Tea'
I May Feel Good at Some Time
 but for now It's Ok to Feel Fine.
I'm not being Active in Writing Lately'
I might have lost My Passion or maybe Myself '
I hope it won't Lasts for Long.
If I'm living through A Certain way It could be Right or Wrong'
But No One is Allowed to Pass on Statements
They don't Owe Me.
Sometimes Pouring your Positivity to People
close to your heart with Empathy' could Drain your self
and then Negativity could Attack You'
You might gonna regret It later '
like wise Myself.
I'm Done at Creative Ideas
I don't know where I'm stuck
 or had Moved on But where exactly'
Guilt of Doings and Happening of Life
Again It's A sign of Complain' which leads to more Negativity
And with A Negative Mind 
You could never have A Positive Life.
Stop just' Stop right there.
Stand up, Walk against no matter about the Odds'
They are not gonna Lasts Forever'
Neither this world You are Surrounded by'
My thoughts are somehow 
Respected and Acceptable for Myself'
And I guess this is more then Enough.
Tomorrow will come with other Ideas 
And I'll be A different version of Myself.
Life have A Long way to Go It doesn't Ends here.
Carry Yourself Elegantly and Beautifully because
The day you won't Love Yourself you will realise'
You have never been Loved unconditionally.
Am I Done or yet all to come and Go'
We all belong to A Certain End
Everyone is Performing their part and Going away with It.
To where have You been Stuck Nida
Let's Just slightly take A Step Forward'
(Soul talks) It might be hard But Trust Me'
I have Got this only way for You.
"Surrender And Cherish"
Your Life could be More Fascinating
Then You could ever have Imagined.



Tough Or Considerate Tough by Sweetnida




Even If It's Right or Wrong
I'm writing It.
Even If It's True or False
I'm Believing it.
Effortlessly or Anxiously'
Nothing Counts If It's not Gonna Last.
Meanings of Life which I Received
Denied My Thoughts many Times'
I Stood Up Against Again and Again.
Malevolent Force kept on Pushing Me'
Drastically I Found and Lost My Ways.
A Hope which is Never Ending'
I Learned to Bend On and set Aside,
Unless It's Not Breaking Me'
Life is Mushing with Hard Times
Is It A Good Sign or Not'
I don't know Yet.
That'
 What is Tough or Considerate Tough!



Answer My Question by Sweetnida


Question: Ending Her Desires would make Her Relax?
Answer said' I will Teach Her to Live Disheartened.
Question: What If From Time to Time She will have Collapsed?
Answer said' At-least She would Learn to' 
Stand out on Her Own Every Single Time.
Question: If She Came to Me with Blame and Questions Me 
What do I'm Supposed to do Then?
Answer said" If She Questions to A Question 
that Day She would No Longer Need Me. 


RT: Sparrow was Never Alone by Sweetnida

  


I was Quiet but Stubborn Inside'
Many days passed
My Condition was Same
I was Living on the Edge
Which was Unseen for others.
While being mature enough to face the realities of Life'
I felt like A Toddler
Who just learned to walk and not stopping.
Standing up' falling down just to reach to same the Desire of Heart
One day I was tired that I sat on the chair and looked up to the sky
It was clear likewise I wanted My Mind to be
Then I saw A tree in front of Me
There was A Sparrow
I guessed it was a female I guessed through it's stubbornness
It was very restless I kept on seeing it.
Made my mind clear from passing thoughts
And gave My self A challenge to count about One to Hundred
If it stay still' that would be My Life
If it flew away that would be my Life' 
 I might not stay still any longer
The sparrow on the same branch of tree was Irritated
It was showing the aggression while kept on opening it's wings
but it was not moving any where forward like Me
It was summer and still but then suddenly it changed
From sunny to windy
My flick flew with the wind and 
the Sparrow Jumped to another Branch
My counting was on fifty it gave me a little hope and I smiled.
Kept on counting' winds became the rhythm
The sparrow grabbed all my Focus
No one came when I was challenging myself '
Good timing I must say/
Then while counting it was eighty number
 My hope started to fade away
My smile ended my eyes Teared up,
But I kept on counting because it has to reach an End
No matter what would be the challenge results 'up to my expectations or the opposite.
Finally ninety the sparrow opened it's wings took  deep breath 
and flew' and at once
Another sparrow flew with it which I did not see from the start
They both flew into the wind at once and left me speechless .
The results of the challenge were extremely
 different from my perception.
The sparrow showed me that it was never Alone!
The whole time it was having it's soul-mate alongside
It was getting upset because I couldn't see them together 
I only saw it alone just like I have been seeing myself all alone 
And being extremely Sad about it.
Like them He was always with Me He had not left yet!
He was only disappeared because it has to be that way'
I had to go through such uncomfortable phase of Life
where I'm seeking for Him and the thought of not having him' 
Along Me" killing Me all the Time.
I wish He never Leave Me,
I still completed My counting to Hundred with A Believe that'
One Day I will see Him next to Me
Just Like The Two Love Birds...



Time' Effort, Magic by Sweetnida



Time' Effort , Magic
Sometimes I wanna make Effort on Right
 Time to create Magic'
But what If I Fail at and Face Tragic Consequences' 
Might Made Me more Reckless.' 
Should I still hope for Unseen.
Is It A Belief or just A False Hope so 
I won't feel Low for Time being.
Being Perfect would Assure that I'll get what I want or what others think that I should want.
I want to see what is in the Galaxies.
what does It has for Me'
How the Glance would receive the Answers..
Glorify or Horrify! 
I'll Put back or Carry with Me
 And make My own way to Put Together. 
Superstitions would Drag Me but'
I won't Over Think this Time,
Following by My Gut Feelings I'll change the Outcomes
Arcane Magic will Stun
 And I won't Anathematise My Intimation.



Say No to Torture by Sweetnida



Stop Tormenting yourself for the Sake of Love 
Your soul has more Worth' get to know your Value. 
You are not An Ordinary Person' 
Your Peaks of Pain Conquer the Universe within You.
Before getting Weak just give It A Shake to your Head 
And Live with the High Speed of Your Heart and"
 Beat Your Enemies...


My Dragon of Hope by Sweetnida


Phenomena of Miseries is too Complicated!
Good thought turned out Bad'
The Bad one Confronted Me Being Worse.
All Desires Dragged Me Down
where is My Dragon of Hope'
with Courage in wings'
Bravery to Fight Against the Odds.
And
Spirituality to Break the Cage'
and Take Me to The Highest of the Skies.
Where I Feel nothing but Peace...



Blamed Irresponsible by Sweetnida


Priorities, setting them Accordingly'
You Make Yourself Responsible and then'
You have to be Alert.
All the Time to Meet Arguments.
Then to be Answerable You should have Valid Points
Or there is no such distance for to be Blamed Irresponsible
And than You could lose all the Respect Once You Gained.



Sword of Credibility by Sweetnida


Intertie Creating A Mess' 
Sometimes when I got Hit by' 
Smilingly I Start feeling Sad. 
I'm still Depending on answer-less Conjunction of Nature, 
I'm A soul who easily get Distracted. 
Amplitude is being Useless' 
That's Why I'm Teaching My Mind To Tackle 
with Confederacies of My Life.
Your Enemy can be in Any Shape' 
Lack of Courage is A Major Obstacle in Opposing.
Scrummed By Universe' I'm Alone. 
Our Play Started in My Mind''
I will Win' Holding The Sword of My Credibility.
Because Only A "Trust" can Make Your Worth..




About Me (Nida)

~As I am finding Myself and writing in search of.... A year of freedom from a cage and now I m free for my whole life My name is Sweet Nida and I m writing My Experience, my Experiments, my Love, My Pain, my Sadness and I will write as my life is moving........!!!